Something about me & the world i live in

Violence is a corner stone of our society.  Children are routinely sexually abused.  Women undergo the trauma of rape.  Men are discouraged from developing their mind, body and soul but are given plenty of incentive to join armies and wage war.  Other men are convicted of nonviolent “crimes” and must then suffer the indignity of prison.  The oceans of a violent culture simmer and warm and unleash storms that kill.  Trying to maintain some sanity in this world is like trying to build a house during a hurricane.
I’m still just scratching the surface of molestations, massacres and the swirling vortex of institutionalized violence that we live under.  None of these things has actually happened to me, but that’s the thing about a culture; it touches everyone who lives in it.  I’ve enjoyed a lot of shelter from the storm, but even those who find refuge in the basement would have a hard time denying that something is going down.
It took me a while to figure out that something was going down. It’s amazing how those who shelter us from the storm will still refuse to talk about its existence. It’s amazing how seldom Americans will admit to each other that we live in a violent culture, but eventually I came to that conclusion. 
In the mysticism I practice one of our core values is knowledge.  So today, I keep restating the fact of our violent culture because I believe it is one of the most important things for Americans to know.  But this fact also leads to knowledge about me, an inhabitant of this society.   I am rarely directly victimized by this violence, but I’m always aware of it.  Not a single day goes by when it’s not on my mind or even breaking my heart.   Every day I the choice to feed this culture or starve it, and those are hard choices.  I would like the next generation to have easier choices.  I would like there to be a next generation.  
Pushing the violence out of my awareness has not worked very well.  I’ve tried.  It only serves to divide me from myself.  Instead, I practice a religion that emphasizes sitting in order to expand our awareness and find integration.   We sit with that which is difficult and contradictory.  We reflect on our choices and work.
 I sit on a daily basis and become aware of suffering, oppression and war.  This is difficult.  It brings up questions.  How can this be?  How can this be changed?  What is my role?  Often I have to sit with the questions.  On a good day I will find an answer; then I know what work lies ahead.